Vital Signs of Marriage with David Hernandez, M.D.

First Baptist Church - Pharr

Vital Signs of Marriage

David Hernandez, M.D.

Couple’s Dinner 2017

Objectives

Understand and know God’s will for your marriage

Assess and Evaluate your marriage daily 

Identify areas that you need to improve

Maximize your marriage’s full potential 

Will Emotion Mind

Let’s go to the beginning.

Matthew 19:3-9 

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Genesis 1:26-28

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in his own image,

    in the image of God he created them;

    male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Genesis 2:15-18

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:20-21

20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh.

“HELPER”

Essential contributor

Just right; Ideal partner; “Not Subservient”

Psalms 115:9-11

9 All you Israelites, trust in the Lord—

    he is their help and shield.

10 House of Aaron, trust in the Lord—

    he is their help and shield.

11 You who fear him, trust in the Lord—

    he is their help and shield.

Covenant

A. Transcendence

B. Hierarchy

Equal Value --- different function

– Pride – Fear – Shame

Judgement: Genesis 3:14-18

….. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

Psalms 128

1 Blessed are all who fear the Lord,

    who walk in obedience to him.

2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;

    blessings and prosperity will be yours.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

    within your house;

your children will be like olive shoots

    around your table.

4 Yes, this will be the blessing

    for the man who fears the Lord.

5 May the Lord bless you from Zion;

    may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem

    all the days of your life.

6 May you live to see your children’s children—

    peace be on Israel.

Ethics

Ephesians 5:21-33  ” submit to one another as to Christ “

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 

29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 

30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 

32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

savior 

Sanctified

Satisfied

Lack of trust leads to betrayal

1. Harsh start ups 1. Conditional commitment 

2. Contemptuous 2. A non sexual affair                                                                            

3. Defensiveness 3. Lying

4. Stone Walling 4. Forming a coalition

5. Bad memories 5. Disrespect

6. Selfishness

7. Breaking promises

Healthy marriage leads to healthy life

1. Emotional intelligence

How you grew up?

Attune

Buoyancy

clarity

2. Turn towards each other beginning of romance

3. Love GPS 

4. Nurture your Fondness and Admiration

5. Allow your spouse to influence you, “ Ultimate respect “

2 types of marriage problems

1. Perpetual – detective, root of the problem, sooth each other

2. Solvable

Finishing together

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